Life, Relationships, Careers : Own What You Can Control to Live the Good Life
#AllAboutYou #GoodLife #Self-Care #EOT #PCC #InTheGame* #DoYouAndOwnIt
An important key to experiencing the Good Life : Own what you can control!
The good life I’m speaking of is contentment – living most days stress-free, worry-free, and drama-free — when you take advantage of what you are able to control.
You deserve the good life . Right?
First, let’s acknowledge a few things in life that are beyond our control.
- We don’t choose our parents and family, or the environment we are born into.
- We have no control over life itself ( having a flat tire, layoffs, natural disasters, tragedies ) – unfortunately shit happens!
- While we are able to influence others, we cannot control other people.
Now, let’s celebrate the fact that we are able to control so much more. We just have to believe it and figure out ways to positively impact our own lives ( daily lives, relationships careers ).
Each of us has total control over two main aspects our lives that could make the biggest difference.
- We can stop making problems for ourselves. We have total control of our responses [ to life & people ] and the decisions we make to minimize self-created problems.
- We can craft the good. We can make good things happen for our individual selves to get what we want and deserve out of life.
Creating problems for ourselves is a choice. Sure, our lack of knowledge, immaturity or mistakes play a role. At some point in our lives, we have to care enough not to make problems for ourselves.
Here are a few broad self-created problems that we could significantly reduce :
- Which of your personal struggles is on you, perhaps due to the myopia of your life planning or because you’ve given up on yourself?
- You ended up in trouble or exasperated an already volatile situation because of which of your reactions or decisions?
- Which of your most damaging dilemmas is because you ignored the red flags, or you didn’t accept the sage guidance from someone who cared enough to try and help you?
- How are our financial woes not on us when we spend more money than we make, naïvely cosigned to help someone, or try to keep up with other people knowing we can’t afford it?
- What did you contribute to your bad credit that is now preventing you from getting that loan to buy something you really want?
- What reason won’t you seek discernment or help to address a worrisome concern so that you can sleep well and move forward?
- What are your contributions to your failed relationships ( friendships, intimate, marriage, family, friends, business connections )?
- Men : Did life bring you drama/ give you a headache; or is it because you chose to have children with women whom you never intended to marry or left after foolishly toying with their hearts?
- Ladies : What reasons do we choose to get pregnant by irresponsible men and end up shouldering all the responsibilities and sacrifices of raising one or more children on our own?
- Aside from leadership doing their part to ensure that people are paid fairly, how does a lack of career planning and not investing in ourselves factor into our unwanted, low-paying, or dead-end jobs?
- Leaders and people in positions of authority : Knowing that people’s lives could be negatively impacted by leadership misconduct ( greed, corruption, sexual harassment, discrimination, workplace bullying, racial injustice, social inequality ) that eventually lands you in deep shit ( sued, fired, forced to step down ), what is your contribution to preventing the misuse and abuse your authority & power ?
Life throws enough at us to deal with. Take a few minutes to imagine what your life would look like when you stop creating issues for yourself.
Plus, why create problems for ourselves when we can redirect our energies, not only on reducing self-generated problems, yet also on crafting the good to improve our personal lives?
Crafting the good means keeping it 100% with the person in the mirror to make the best choices and decisions for yourself, having true purpose and adding value to the various parts of your life.
Some examples of crafting the good . . .
- Check Yourself often : Self-adjusting and self-correcting to respond intelligently, prevent/ diffuse situations, or to help produce good outcomes.
- Respond intelligently : Think about the consequences and know your end game before responding, reacting, and replying to people to help produce good outcomes.
- Be Appreciative : Identifying the good things about what you already have, knowing that appreciation isn’t complacency; it’s being thankful for what you currently have.
- Be Resilient : Knowing that life can beat you down and make you want to give up, you remain unwavering and resilient to keep moving forward.
- Self-Love / Self-Care : Committing to yourself as a top priority because you matter to yourself. Maintaining a healthy mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical well-being to remain at your best for yourself first – and subsequently, others.
- Get Help : Having the courage to the help you need – having the courage to seek advice, guidance, counseling, or coaching from someone you trust or from a trained professional to assist you in reaching your attainment.
- Forgive : Forgiving yourself for your own past & demons—that perhaps people keep judging you for—so you can do better and move forward. Forgiving or reconciling with others to relieve stress , remove drama, and to move forward with people whose relationship you value the most.
- Be & Stay Happy : Formulating a happiness equation that includes your own positive contributions, knowing that anything good from other people simply makes you happier.
- Practice Forward-Thinking : Design and keep your end game in mind through all your decision-making & solutioning to create a fruitful future for yourself.
- Be Prepared : While none of us can predict the future, we can at least leverage everything we learned and try to stabilize our finances to be as ready as possible when life does happen.
- Let it Go : Acknowledging and addressing anything ( your past, demons, broken relationships , etc. ) that weighs you down or is heavy on your heart to help you move forward with a better attitude and better perspectives.
- Be okay saying “No” : Knowing that people do what you allow them to do, identify and confidently say “No” to anything that does not benefit your well-being and goals.
- Be Nice : Truly having a kind heart and godly morals, don’t do to others what you don’t want other people to do to you.
- Chill Out : Instead of “fueling the fire” and making situations worse, Stop taking so many things personal so you don’t become angry, stressed, or frustrated.
- Learn : Stop repeating the same poor choices to prevent self-sabotage; and accepting new challenges to create opportunities for yourself.
- Keep a Great Attitude : Though it is easier said than done, find or generate the good from fucked up situations or when someone treats you wrong to keep positivity flowing in your life.
- Indulge in Me-Time : Unplugging and decompressing daily from anyone and anything that is stressful or draining so you feel relieved, or to be able to think straight.
- Pause & Reset : During times of uncertainty or things are not going as expected or when you feel overwhelmed, sometimes it helps to be still and re-think to get back on track.
- Be You & Do You : Instead of chasing other people’s definition of success, define success / quality of life for yourself to fearlessly fulfill your own realistic desires, goals, dreams and vision with no regrets.
- Grow up : Accepting all the consequences of your actions and decisions to take absolute ownership of your life.
- Compartmentalize relationships : Determining which people are the most to least important , so that you invest time & energy in relationships you value the most.
- Get right : Putting in the work to be the best you –anything from healing inside out to getting rid of as much baggage as possible and finding your own happiness before trying to commit to your special someone.
- Prudently procreate : Remember the situation you were born into and think holistically before having children who don’t ask to be born. Discern the real reason(s) you want children. What does the rest of your life look like if you have children? If you decide to have kids, What sagacious efforts will you put forth to train up your children so they become productive members of society?
- Embrace challenges : Stepping outside of your box, bubble, and comfort zone to learn & experience new things and to live your dreams with no fear.
- Increase Your Income : Making drastic changes (deeply downsize & live below your means, stop spending money on luxury items & only pay for absolute necessities, invest in certifications & formulate fruitful relationships to get a better paying job, seek help from a financial advisor, et al) to see more money each month after paying bills.
- Do Right : Instead of getting in trouble; making excuses; or trying not to get caught doing wrong, focus your efforts on consistently doing the right thing to make life better for yourself – and perhaps other people as well.
- Give a Damn : Knowing that you accepted a position of authority and demonstrating character, C.A.R.E. enough to consistently do what is right, fair, and just for people you are responsible for leading representing or protecting because each person matters.
- Be Accountable : Removing the biggest obstacle – yourself – by getting out of your own way to fulfill your vision, goals, and dreams.
- Persevere / Grit it : Keeping your end game in mind and never giving up on yourself to get what you most desire out of life.
Look, you know you either sink or swim in different areas of your life – it’s all up to you. The beauty is that each of us has the power to discern and take advantage of what we are able to control to consistently live the good life.
When we are ready to live the good life—that serene feeling, getting ourselves in that satiated space we most desire—we make it happen!
Thinking about the areas of your life with the most opportunity for improvement, What are three to five things you feel empowered to control that could help you experience the good life – constant personal fulfillment?
More in these self-refinement books . . .
- In the Game : Life > Barnes & Noble , Amazon , Apple
- In the Game : Relationships > Barnes & Noble, Amazon , Apple
- In the Game: Careers & Executives > Barnes & Noble , Amazon, Apple
- Ahead of the Game : Forward Thinking > Barnes & Noble , Amazon, Apple , Kobo
